Revealed! The 3 Winning Ethel Essays

Flattered, I said, “Sure, if you provide the yarn.”

Soon more Facebook friends asked the same thing, and the yarn started to come in.

Over the last 10 years my casual hobby has exploded into me making and giving away almost 500 afghans.

Eventually, I shared a picture on the Ethel Circle Facebook page. Not all the Ethels wanted afghans though. Rather some wanted to help me give them away.

The support was overwhelming.

Ethels sent yarn for a young father with leukemia that I was crocheting an afghan for. They sent cash gifts for me to use however it was needed, and they paid for shipping afghans to others in need.

I hadn’t asked for help, and yet it was freely given.

Because of the empathy of the women in The Ethel Circle group, mostly strangers to me, I felt the warmth of being brought into a circle of community, similar to when I was a little girl, sitting on a nun’s lap while she put her hands over mine and taught me to crochet.

Third Place Winner: Linda Smith

Get a dog! Hope everyone has a great day. Start with love and gratitude. Give every day a chance. Great sex at age 70 is still possible! I sympathize. You can do this. Go on a trip. Wish you the best. Knock it off. Put your feet up and relax. Praying for peace and healing for you. I am right there with you. Get outside. Join a group. You deserve better.

The comments above exemplify The Ethel, The Ethel Circle, and even The Ethel On-The-Go. Comments such as these provide me with many things: 

Inclusion, knowing that I am not alone, and that others experience similar emotions, struggles, and dreams;

Lessons, teaching me new ways to deal with life;

Motivation, encouraging me to get out and try new things; and

An outlet, allowing me to share kind words, advice, and knowledge.

Mostly though, they provide support and compassion, letting me know people care.

Recently, my daughter pointed out that I was “more alive, perky” than I had been in a long time. Indeed, recent activities include completing a half-marathon, playing pickleball, and joining a felting class at the local library. Several years before my daughter’s comment, I moved from suburban Chicago to rural Vermont. This change proved to be much more challenging than expected. I now have minimal neighbors, more snow, and much less retail therapy without even a nearby grocery store. I got into a funk and stayed in the house more often.

My daughter’s observation made me think about what had changed. What got me out of the house and into activities? After some reflection, I concluded that my more-positive attitude is due to the many posts and comments on The Ethel sites and Facebook pages.

It was a slow, unintentional process. It began with merely reading posts and comments and mulling over many of them. Soon, I posted my own situation and emotions and received encouraging comments. Eventually, I even started offering comments and advice to others, which let me connect and make contributions. Perhaps soon, I will even attend a gathering of The Ethel group near me.

Although not every day is perfect, The Ethel has set me on the path to feeling better.

Not long ago, someone posted, “Just posting here and seeing the comments has helped me.” This explains it all.

Other Notable Essays:

Judy Hirsch

The Ethel Circle has given me a way to stay active while helping other women. I retired in 2018 after my job was eliminated. I had not planned on retiring at 60. But I decided to retire anyway. For the first few years, I visited my mom, who had dementia, in a nearby nursing home. After that, like just about everyone else, I pretty much stayed home because of the pandemic. But after that, I had no idea what I would do with myself.

I looked for ways to keep busy. I had lived alone for 40 years. I was used to it and preferred keeping to myself. But I knew I needed something to do while retired — a retirement project of some sort.

Over Memorial Day weekend 2024, while reading the May/June AARP Magazine with Jon Bon Jovi on the cover, I read an article about The Ethel Circle.

I knew two things right away. First, I was surprised I’d never heard of it. Second, I knew this was going to be my retirement project.

I joined right away and learned about the local Ethel gathering group in Philadelphia. When I found out the group events were over an hour away from where I lived, I contacted the administrator to find out why. She told me she planned all events near where she lived. She lived over an hour away from me. The problem is, I don’t have a car. I sold my last car just before I moved to Brooklyn, New York for my last job.

The administrator asked me if I would like to host a luncheon in my area. I said yes. Six weeks later, I sat with 23 women at a nearby restaurant. It went perfectly. I knew for sure The Ethel Circle would be my retirement project.

It has been two years since that first luncheon. After the first year, a planning committee came together to organize and host events. Like me, they were looking for things to do as well. And they organized an event to commemorate that first luncheon. I communicate with many of these women on a regular basis. These are women I didn’t know two years ago. Now I consider some to be my friends.

In addition, when an opportunity came about to start the only national chat room for The Ethel Circle, I jumped at the chance. I had hosted in the Women’s Room on America Online (AOL) in the 1990s for nearly 10 years. And I loved it. Now I had an opportunity to create and host another chat room for women — the Ethel Cafe & Chat Room. I even brought back my favorite topic chat from the 1990s — Name That Tune.

Two years ago, I had no plans for my retirement. Today, I have a home with The Ethel Circle.

Tracey Rice

I have been an Ethel member for about 6.5 months, but they have given me so much in such a short time. I came to the Sequim community about 7 months ago to spend the winter and recuperate. I was broken (literally) and at a very low point in my life. The support and kindness the Ethels offered saved me from a very difficult period.

I retired a couple of years ago with a dream of traveling around the country in my RV. I spent some time seeing some amazing parts of the western United States. I took a little break to volunteer at a small museum. I had been there for 6 weeks, when a trailer fire next to me damaged my trailer. After insurance, I had to buy a new trailer and wanted to finish my commitment to the museum. A week before I was to move on, I fell coming out of my trailer and fractured my wrist.

I knew no one in the community and did my best to manage on my own. There was no way to build community in this small town, so I felt very alone. I had a difficult recovery and was there much longer than I had planned. Two weeks before my departure date, I fell again and shattered my wrist. The same wrist that was finally stable enough to continue my journey. It took a month to find a surgeon and schedule surgery. The surgeon said it was one of the worst breaks he had ever seen.

A week after surgery, my son and friends came and moved my trailer and me to Sequim. I was at my lowest point, both physically and emotionally. I knew no one in Sequim and was struggling again to manage day-to-day tasks. I had a long road to recovery ahead of me, and had to put my retirement dreams on hold indefinitely. I had been here about 5 days when I learned about the Ethels.

I looked them up, joined and went to my first event (a dinner) nine days after arriving in town. I was blown away by their kindness and genuine empathy. This was only the start of my Ethel story. It took a while to get to the point of my essay, because I wanted you to understand what meeting these women at this point in my life has meant to me. I understood that at any time if I needed help, one of these amazing women would be there.

Just knowing this is such a blessing. I have met some amazing women. I don’t feel alone anymore. I know at any point, I could reach out and someone would be there. This organization came to me at a time when I really needed it. Because of these women, I have decided to stay in Sequim for now. I don't know what the future holds for me, but this group of women will forever be a part of my journey.

Rebecca David

In late 2020, my mother survived a severe case of COVID that nearly took her life. I left California and moved back to the Midwest to help her recover from her illness, eventually becoming her live-in caregiver.

Overnight, I gave up my independence, my work, the city I loved, and the life I had built. While I never questioned my decision, I often questioned where I fit in afterward.

During the early morning hours, when I'm exhausted and frustrated by caregiving, my refuge is often The Ethel.

Reading the newsletter, the inspiring stories, and the Facebook page reminds me that I'm part of a community of remarkable women who understand life's unexpected turns. Their honesty, humor, and resilience have helped me navigate this new chapter with hope.

The Ethel On-The-Go Facebook group also showed me the remarkable generosity of this community. When a close friend's mother became seriously ill while traveling in Hawaii, I reached out for guidance. Women from across the country shared travel advice, healthcare resources, and practical suggestions that helped me support my friend during a frightening and uncertain time. Complete strangers took the time to help simply because they cared.

Although I haven't yet attended an Ethel Gathering in person, I'm genuinely excited to do so. The kindness and encouragement I've found online make me look forward to meeting fellow Ethels face-to-face. The greatest gift The Ethel has given me is a renewed sense of belonging. It has reminded me that our lives may change in unexpected ways, but our stories, wisdom, and ability to support one another remain valuable. Even in life's most challenging seasons, we are never meant to walk the journey alone, and I look forward to the day I can share that connection in person.