Last May, a close friend in her 70s was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. It was a shock for both her and her husband as the prognosis was not good. In early July, we gathered on the front stoop of their row house to check in and share a tender moment.
As we moved from small talk to the realities ahead, our friend’s primary concern was her husband's welfare. Two weeks later, she started an experimental treatment. Two weeks after that, she went into cardiac arrest and died in intensive care.
What was an already sad and stressful time was made even worse by the fact that there were no end-of-life documents in place. As her husband lamented: "We just never got around to it, sadly. It won't bring her back, but not having them added so much to an already terrible situation. I can't believe we didn't take care of it earlier."
Unfortunately, this story is too common. We know that death or the prospect of incapacity could happen at any time or age, yet many of us fail to have critical documents that direct care for ourselves or our loved ones, or that help to avoid costly legal and financial estate matters after we pass.
As the author of “Positive Money — 7 Principles for Living a Rich Life” and a specialist in financial affairs, I have learned why many people avoid doing just that:
· Don’t want to think or talk about death, dying or money.
· Get overwhelmed by the legal and financial decisions necessary to make.
· Put it off because they believe they have time to do so in the future
Assembling a next-of-kin box
When I turned 65 last year, I decided it was time to organize our financial affairs given our five children, a household of pets and assets that involve families of origin. Though we had recently updated estate planning documents, purchased a fire-safe box and had an emergency fund, I was worried that we had no clear direction or process for helping loved ones know what to do in the case of an emergency, or to gain access to our myriad of accounts. Not only do my wife and I have a web of personal and joint accounts, but we each own a business.