Revealed! The 3 Winning 'Ethel' Essays

To me, the Ethel Circle is about giving women the opportunity to connect with other women. We long to feel that we are not alone as we deal with the changes that aging brings. In a culture that has never been good at making older women feel valued, we find validation in each other and in sharing our life experiences.

Connection is the key. Someone mentions that word at every get-together. Women are connecting with each other through the Ethel Circle, and that can be life-changing.

Hanne Denney

Aging can mean slowing down — fewer activities, more losses, maybe fewer friends. Retirement is a time to reflect and indulge in memories. Growing older can mean too much time looking to the past.

The Ethel Chesapeake Gathering Group has invigorated my retirement and offset the slowdown of my life. I focused on developing friendships, trying new fitness activities, and identifying creative outlets. With Ethels, I’ve bowled and hiked. I have shared meals and travel stories, and attended book talks. I learned about “graceful aging” and could learn mahjongg and watercolor painting. I’ve begun writing (again). I’ve visited a museum and taken a boat tour. All this in just one year. I would not have done all this on my own.

Most importantly, I have friends I know who care about me, and whom I care about. I have attended a funeral for a new friend’s husband, and reminisced with others about loved ones long gone. I’ve smiled at grandmothers’ proud stories and shared some of my own.

Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus (“Ethel” to me now) was a woman who saw a situation and worried about the future of aging women. Thus, she started AARP. She acted in the present to improve lives for women moving into retirement years. Dr. Andrus was looking to the future. I respect her.

Being an Ethel now is moving me on from a past of children, a career as an educator, and loved ones long gone. Ethel is my role model. She modelled how to honor the past, explore and understand the present, and work to change the future. I am now future-oriented. There is so much more to learn, experience and contribute.

What does the Chesapeake Gathering Group have planned next? Looking forward to finding out. Thanks, Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus.

Lynn Vitale

What came about through a conversation with one of my best friends surprised me. She referenced something she had read in “The Ethel” and that was how she knew about “it." I immediately needed to know more about this “Ethel” and joined — on the spot.

From the onset, you Ethels have brought “surprise” to me on a daily basis! Who’d have thought, at the ripe old age of 70+, I wouldn’t have all the answers? How could I? Have I felt the pain that goes along with caring for a loving spouse through illness? No. Have I lost a spouse to understand the kind of emptiness and loneliness that you may have faced? No. A child? Thank God, NO.

So, yes, I’ve related to many questions that have been asked about relationships with our children — good, bad . . . and sad. When I read some posts, I must count my blessings because I cannot imagine enduring what that Ethel is going through. On the other hand, I’m elated to read about good fortunes, generosity, beautiful hearts, cherished times!

And then there are those Ethels who ask the questions that make our eyes bulge and our faces blush . . . WOW! You are all very brave; I so applaud you! You have opened my mind and my eyes to subject matters I never even knew existed.

The responses to these questions are (mostly) sincere. They provide different perspectives of which we may, or may not, agree with but, surely, give us food for thought.

So, am I hooked? You bet! You may reduce me to tears with many of your stories and responses but, more importantly, we’re never too old to learn, so, thank you, Ethels, for being our best teachers!

Sheila Strassburg

Embracing now

I feel like I have lived three lifetimes. Once as a child when discovering the world was new and exciting. It led me into the person I would become. The second, as a young woman whose family and career were the main focus. There was so little time for anything else, checking things off a list of duties seemed normal and never-ending.  The third, as an older, retired woman discovering the pitfalls and adventures of this next chapter.

Finding purpose as an older woman seemed difficult at first, maybe even strange, because one realizes that there are no more rules or intense schedules that need to be followed. No more children to raise, no more alarm clocks set to start the work day. Many of my friends are younger and still working, raising kids and busy.

Finding joy in the journey has always been my war cry. So I have embraced the newness of this next chapter. Finding the “Ethel’s” has been a lifeline. Online communication and group gatherings have been a joy.

Being able to be part of a group that still celebrates life, that still wants to explore and dream, and that shares joy and heartache has been cathartic and important. We encourage each other, we cheer each milestone, and we plan for the future, whatever that may look like. Getting older doesn’t have to stop us from doing or discovering things we love. But it does take courage and fortitude. We’re figuring out how to live in a world that looks different now, maybe a little scary. The Ethels I have connected with are brave, funny and encouraging. We are each other’s cheerleaders. And, honestly, everyone, no matter the age, needs a cheerleader or two!

Ethel Chadwick

Growing up with a name like Ethel wasn’t very exciting for me. I knew I was named after my deceased paternal grandmother, but I knew very little about her. Later, I learned that Ethel is a Nordic name and it means “noble,” but I still didn’t feel very noble or proud. I was always different, stuck with an odd name and never really felt like I belonged anywhere. What a delight to find out that AARP had Ethel groups all over the country. I joined the Ethel On-The-Go group and immediately got advice about a trip to Ireland we were planning last year. The ladies were so warm and welcoming, and they were very patient with me as I made inquiries about our destination. Then I joined the Ethel Circle where I found women giving advice, sharing joys, sadness and offering friendship on a daily basis. I saw a need in the Rochester, New York area, and so I became a volunteer in the Western New York group. It has been so satisfying to bring women together and help them make new friends. What a thrill it has been to facilitate luncheons and gatherings with other Ethels. I have learned that Ethels come in all shapes and sizes, and we each have talents and hobbies to share with one another. To the rest of the world, we might just be senior citizens, but within the Ethels group, we are still young at heart and love to have new adventures. It’s nice to belong to a fun, supportive group of women, and now I can honestly say I’m proud to be an Ethel!

Vickie Westermeyer

Being an Ethel has changed my life.  I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it is absolutely true. I retired at 63, thinking I had everything planned. I had a decent-sized circle of friends, family nearby, grandkids galore, a husband still working, and lots of hobbies. A year later, I discovered that work friends aren’t necessarily retirement friends; some days, while grandkids are adorable, it’s important to talk with someone over the age of three, and only so much TV can be binged without your eyes glazing over.

I found the Ethel Facebook page, then met a couple of local Ethels, and before I knew what was happening, I became a local gathering group organizer. I had always proclaimed I was an introvert, but in this group, I’m not. I find myself surrounded by other women with similar stories to share and others who have done things I only dream about. Food, laughter and friendship abound, and events have us lingering to hear just one more story.

I have heard so many share that they felt lonely or didn’t know exactly what their role is in this season of life. Some have confessed they sat in their car for many long minutes before coming in for a gathering group event for the first time because they didn’t know if they would fit in. Some women share these things with tears, as others scurry to find Kleenex to pass along. And then my favorite part is when they said, “You made me feel so welcome, and I’ll be back.”

I’m finding new friends all the time. I’m finding leadership skills I didn’t know I had. But the absolutely best part is I’m finding ME as I navigate this season of life. I proudly tell people that I am an ETHEL!

Yarrow

Purpose, Pride and Connection. These three words exemplify why I love being an Ethel.

Being a leader within the Ethel community is humbling. Many Ethels are far more educated than I am, have traveled more widely, and seem to have an unending repository of grace. I admire these characteristics. I listen closely, watch intently and lean in to learn more at every chance.

As an Ethel in my eighth decade, the opportunity to lead arrived as quite a surprise, through the mystery of technology. When I raised my hand indicating a “yes,” little did I know how the Ethel Circle would refresh my life and fill it with joy and meaning.

Be it a text message, an inspiring mention in passing or the embrace of a genuine “hello,” my everyday is enriched through connections with Ethels across the country.

The spirit of Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, AARP's founder, is contagious and imbued within the organization from the top down. This exceptional leadership makes me a better leader. Being part of a gathering group that is named after Ethel is uplifting. As an Ethel, I am reminded of the unwavering power that she showed and that women innately have. The Ethel Circle provides a vehicle for me to engage deeply and give back.

Membership provides me with an opportunity to utilize my skills for the greater good. This is where pride comes in. I also reap the benefits that have restored meaning, connection and excitement to my life.

I appreciate the opportunity to grow more — learn new technology, experience organizational development, achieve a new purpose. In the past 19 months, the Ethel Circle has provided all this and more.

The Ethel helps me bring the “best me” to our community. Learning, thriving and being engaged is my vision for a productive life. Being an Ethel accomplishes all that.

Sandy Christiano

To be an Ethel is to embody the legacy of Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus — a woman who redefined aging as a time of growth, purpose and service. As I turn 64 this month, retired but far from idle, I find myself stepping into that legacy with intention and pride.

Being an Ethel means embracing challenge. I’m currently training for a 20-mile hiking trek — not just for fitness, but to prove that vitality doesn’t expire with age. It means expanding horizons, like when I joined a choir workshop to learn and perform music native to Portugal, immersing myself in a culture I’d never experienced before. It means forging connections across the country and beyond, building a global community rooted in curiosity and shared experience.

But being an Ethel also means resilience. I’ve known profound loss — loss that reshaped me. Yet I’ve emerged stronger, wiser and more compassionate. I’ve learned to extend grace not only to others, but also to myself. That grace is the quiet power of aging well.

The Ethel Community of AARP is more than a group — it’s a movement. It’s a place where age is not a limitation but a launchpad. It's where we celebrate reinvention, creativity and courage together. It's where we honor the past but live fully in the present.

To be an Ethel is to live with purpose, to give generously and to grow continuously. It’s not just about what we’ve done — it’s about what we’re still becoming and doing so within this amazing community.

Ellen Collins

Ever notice how women describe themselves as secondary to someone? We tend to think of ourselves in relation to whatever role we are in. I was wife, mother, daughter. During my career years, I would add my occupation (attorney), too. A busy, full life. But a life that revolved around my connections to others. Then, children grew and married, and I retired. The old descriptions still applied (plus grandmother), but the needs of others became less pressing, and I found myself trying to figure out who I was apart from those roles.

I had friends, of course, but most were at different stages of life or were still working. I could keep myself busy, but I missed the camaraderie and support of someone who knows how unsettling it is to transition from the all-encompassing roles of my past to the new role of my present and future. In short, I needed some Ethels.

In the year since I joined the Central Florida Gathering Circle, I have met wonderful women and made a few genuine friends. My new friends could not be more different. Two are married, one divorced, one widowed. Some have children and some don't. We have different interests, religions, even political leanings. At first glance, we shouldn't have much in common. But, oh, we do. Somehow, we "see" each other. We meet regularly and never seem to run out of things to talk about. Books we have read, products we have tried, travel, health, cooking, what's on Netflix, and more. What's most surprising is what we don't talk about. While we mention the kids and grands, they are not the focus of our conversations. We are. With these women, I am so much more than wife, mother, grandma, lawyer. I get to be myself. What a wonderful gift!

Evelyn Krieger

Ethel? Isn’t that an old lady/s name?

That's what I thought when the invitation arrived. Inside, I felt 20-something, had good friends who were 40-something, and often got mistaken for being much younger. Retirement? Not even on my radar. Did I really belong? I decided to investigate. I learned that AARP's Founder, Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, was a Midwesterner, radical educator, writer, poetry lover, women’s advocate, and mentor. Like me! Reading the Ethel newsletter, I found writing by smart, vibrant women who were trying to live their best next chapter, fight ageism, and have a good laugh along the way. Like me! They, too, were navigating elder care, menopause, body image and mortality. So I joined the conversation and found I could advise those on the road behind me, while learning from those far ahead. As a published writer, ideas for my own Ethel essays began percolating.

Next, I stepped into the Ethel Circle, where I met b(older) women looking for camaraderie. I admired the way they admitted their loneliness and took steps to forge new friendships. Their honest discussions made me feel less alone. The Ethels helped me realize my age ambivalence. I began to confront deep-seated fears and insecurities toward aging. Would I just wake up one day looking or feeling old? The Ethels made me laugh at myself, bemoaning a “problem” many women would like to have. These ladies were not afraid to state their age. They aimed to embrace Dr. Andrus’ message that “aging is not a punishment but a privilege.” Like sunflowers, the Ethels all turn toward the light. As a newbie, I’m still finding my way inside their supportive circle and learning from the dynamic members. I’m even thinking of starting a circle in my hometown.

So, call me an Ethel … and proud.

Who out there is proud to be an Ethel? Let us know in the comments below.