It’s Never Too Late and You’re Never Too Old to Do Almost Anything

Then again, don't we need to be realistic as we move up in years?

By

Bette Ann Moskowitz

 
Published October 16, 2024
illustration of woman walking through open door leading towards mountains and sun
Kaitlin Brito

I told a friend recently, half-jokingly, that I thought it was too late to buy a new living room sofa at my age of 84.

She almost bit my head off. “It’s never too late,” she said. “You’re never too old!” She reacted with a vehemence that made me think about it more seriously.

Wasn’t I just being practical? After all, isn’t it true that I might not be around long enough to warrant the kind of “big purchase” people usually make when they are just starting out? Or, was my practicality really negativity — maybe even ageism — in disguise?

I decided to do a deep dive into the question: “How late is too late to do things you want to do but that seems inappropriate to do at 75 or 84 or 90-plus?

Let’s put aside those one-time, bucket list items, such as climbing Mt. Everest on a big birthday or swimming with dolphins. Instead, let’s concentrate on the more encompassing lifestyle choices, like redecorating, or adopting a dog, or taking up golf, or going to law school.

What do these activities have in common that could make a person feel they are not for her anymore? First, they all have a sense of duration and commitment. In other words, will there be enough time left to break in a new sofa to one's comfort level? Do we have the patience and brain space to achieve the kind of long-term goal that learning golf or going to law school will entail?

And then there are the physical limitations: What will our hips, knees, and ankles have to say about swinging a golf club? Do we have the energy to walk a dog and play fetch and bend to pick up poop every day? How will our bouts of numbing insomnia and our occasional mind freeze block our ability to fulfill school assignments?

What can we realistically expect as we move up in years?

I did a little research, and found multiple pages online and social media groups devoted to older people doing astounding things — such as a 104-year-old woman skydiving! Lots of us feisty older folks are pursuing new sports, new fields of academics and new dreams. Septuagenarians and octogenarians are in law school and graduating. A specialty for these senior lawyers, who have garnered wisdom from aging well — and experiences of ageism — would be to focus on elder care law.

The more I thought about the issue, the more convinced I was that practicality has (practically) nothing to do with deciding to buy a new sofa or do anything else I want to do, at my age. Contemplating doing new things is, in itself, exciting and aspirational, and actually doing them is a lesson in positivity and success.

Not everyone agrees. When my beloved dog died two years ago, some people did not hesitate to point out all the hardships of taking on another dog at my age. This is not only for the physicality of tasks but also for starting another love relationship from scratch. A person whose foster dog I was considering adopting said he would never give the dog to someone over 80. When I told him I was over 80, embarrassed, he said, “Well, obviously not someone like you.”

The ageist assumption that I was an exception to some rule about people my age adopting dogs (and who knows what else?) stung, but it also clarified everything.

You are never too old, and it’s never too late if you have the desire and physical stamina to make it happen. Your choices may be challenged, but that’s okay; people do it, and you can, too. Because it’s a low-impact exercise, golf is the perfect sport to take up in later life. It has a social aspect — you are chatting to partners. You also are walking, be it slowly, and movement at our age is key.

So if someone tells you, “Don’t do this, not at your age." Smile, and say, “Just watch me."

I love my new dog. I ordered a new sofa. And I am seriously considering taking the LSATs in the future after I finish my novel-in-progress.

What have YOU done later in life that you never thought you'd do? Let us know in the comments below.

 

Bette Ann Moskowitz is a former songwriter, writer of fiction (Leaving Barney and Reading the Signs: A Schoolhouse Mystery) and non-fiction (the memoir, Do I Know You: A Family’s Journey Through Aging and Alzheimer’s and Finishing Up: On Aging and Ageism). Her most recent novel, Three Legs in the Evening, was published in 2023. She is a past recipient of the New York State Foundation for the Arts Fellowship for Literary Non-Fiction. Her blog, Vinegar Mother (vinegarmother.wordpress.com) is eight years old and still ongoing.