I Was Drinking 2 Bottles of Wine a Day. Here's How I Stopped

The first year of trying to get sober was hell.

By

Maria Leonard Olsen

 
Published March 26, 2025
illustration of hand denying person holding martini glass, alcohol, drinking
AARP (Getty Images, 2)

I drank my way out of a 25-year marriage. Maybe your own addiction, or your loved one’s drinking, won’t have such dramatic consequences. But given the U.S. Surgeon General’s recent warning about increased cancer risk from drinking even moderate amounts of alcohol, consumption amounts are something you may want to evaluate.

The report indicates that consuming alcohol is the third leading preventable cause of cancer in the United States, after tobacco and obesity. Scientific evidence demonstrates the causal link between alcohol consumption and increased risk for seven cancer types.

I stopped 12 years ago when my drinking problem — which gradually reached two surreptitious bottles of white wine a day — caused my divorce and ruined my family members’ lives. The first year of trying to get sober was hell.

I relapsed. But I kept trying. I slowly picked myself up and started over in many aspects of my life, this without alcohol to help me forget my problems and anesthetize me from unhappy feelings. I was living alone for the first time in my life. I felt guilty and lonely and I was shaking and sweating from alcohol withdrawal. I had to find a new job and wondered if I ever could repair the bridges I had burned.

Many may not appreciate that alcohol is a depressant. I have suffered from depression, and I no longer want alcohol to contribute to it. Plus, I have saved a boatload of money by not spending it on alcohol.

The support group Alcoholics Anonymous was key to recovery. Its members became a chosen family, and my sober sisters help to guide and encourage me. All that is required for membership in this worldwide group is a desire to stop drinking. A multitude of in-person meetings are available and online meetings are offered around the clock.

Becoming sober changed my life. My health improved, including my weight and skin, as did my relationships. I no longer cringe thinking about what may have happened when I was drinking. I had a network of sober people to turn to for advice and help when I felt cravings for a drink. The people in my sober community were the least judgmental people I've ever encountered. They loved me until I could love myself.

Tully Lindsay, 67, of Frederick, Maryland, who has been sober for 26 years, echoes these sentiments. “What a great feeling to wake up in the morning, not feeling ill and dehydrated and without the vague discomfort that you said something to someone that was unpleasant but having no idea what or to whom,” Tully says.

Work life and decision-making improves, too. “I am able to deal with life’s challenges with a more rational, sane mind,” says Karen Steffy, 67, of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Mary Beth O’Connor, 63, who lives in the San Francisco area, was able to become a federal judge after getting sober. Her “greatest joy of recovering … has been gaining the ability to build a happy and productive life.”

Corinne Petteys, 74, of Gaithersburg, Maryland has 37 years of sobriety. She avoided her parents’ drinking examples, finding that sobriety led her to “spiritually awakening.” Becoming more spiritual boosted her resolve to not drink. And she has never looked back.

For those in relationship with alcoholics, Al-Anon has helped thousands learn how to stop enabling and to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes, an intervention is necessary to get someone to stop drinking. This can be done with the assistance of a professional interventionist or just with those who care about the alcoholic.

In an intervention, those present state how the person’s alcoholism has affected each of them. Often, the alcoholic can no longer think rationally under the influence of the drug of alcohol, so appeals to their emotions are more effective. If the alcoholic refuses to take the help offered, which typically means going to rehab, the participants state consequences, such as no contact or no financial help. It seems harsh, but unless there are consequences for drinking, many alcoholics will not get help.

If you believe the person’s drinking has not reached the stage in which an intervention is necessary, try some of the following tips:

1. Serve or encourage mocktails when you are with them, and many restaurants now offer these delicious non-alcoholic drinks. Mocktails can be good ways to increase antioxidants since many include fresh juices and ginger. Good recipes are available all over the Internet. Alcohol-free beers and wine have improved, as well. While some still contain a small alcohol content, these drinks can be used to wean off of alcohol.

2. Set a good example by keeping a glass of sparkling water with lime in your hand while at events. Pressure remains to imbibe in social settings and this practice avoids having to field questions about whether you would like a drink or why you are not drinking.

3. Encourage others to try a dry month challenge. Those who try abstinence feel better, which may lead to quitting altogether.

4. Keep alcohol out of your home. Having it around can too easily tempt.

5. Host alcohol-free events and invite your friend to do activities during which drinking is not a part. We can change the culture through example.

After more than a decade of sobriety, my life is again joy-filled. I no longer have secrets that kept me sick. My actions align with my values. I have made amends to all those I harmed when I was drinking and continue to live my amends to those I love. I help others get sober by bringing them to 12-step meetings and supporting them.

While I sometimes feel tempted by a good wine, I remember how it is not worth the first drink because it's never enough. I remove myself from alcohol-laden situations and look for ways to help others without numbing myself from all that this beautiful life has to offer.

 

Have you ever found yourself drinking too much? Or do you have a loved one who does so? Let us know in the comments below.

Maria Leonard Olsen is an attorney, author and podcaster in Washington, D.C. For more information about her work, see www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com.