Revealed! One of the Most Joyful Experiences I’ve Ever Had

And it's all because of Taylor Swift.

By

Carolyn Bergen

 
Published October 23, 2024
Gregory Reid (Prop Stylist: JJ Chan)

So you think it’s mostly pre-pubescent and post-adolescent girls packing stadiums planet-wide to see Taylor Swift?

I am a 56-year-old mother of two who traveled alone across two continents and an ocean to witness the celebrated “Eras” tour in Lyon, France. And I wasn’t the only adult in the room. Untold numbers of women my age and older turned out to experience this cultural phenomenon because there’s a timeless, ageless quality to Taylor’s songwriting — something Harvard University understood when it added the English “Taylor Swift and her World” class to its curriculum in 2021. We all have something to learn from her work.

The first time I heard Taylor sing “You Belong with Me” was in my car, circa 2008. The lyrics and musical hooks were both catchy and poignant; “She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers.” Long after high school, those words bounced through me like the slam of a locker. Simple, yet unexpectedly profound.

Weeks later, I acquired a pair of free tickets to Taylor’s “Speak Now” concert via the ad agency I worked at. While my eight-year-old daughter sat in awe of her first-ever concert experience, I sat in awe of Taylor’s raw talent and maturity. She played the piano … the guitar … the banjo … the ukulele. She talked to the audience with the confidence and humor of Paul McCartney. She shared the inspiration behind her songs. She told numerous life stories. She was only 20.

According to Forbes magazine, 44 percent of “Swifties” are Boomers and Gen Xers. Taylor’s artistic bravery is rivaled only by her emotional vulnerability. For those of us who’ve been there, done that and are still wearing the t-shirt, this is quite compelling.

My own musical taste leans toward late 90’s grunge bands like the Foo Fighters, Nine Inch Nails, Blink-182 and Guster; bands that have no qualms about screaming exactly how they feel while accompanied by thrashing guitars and pounding drums. Taylor doesn’t need that level of musical aggression. Her words do all the head-banging necessary.

When the "Eras" tour was first announced, I asked my now-grown daughter if she wanted to go. She was passionately unenthused. The crowds and the big arena dynamic were just not her thing. So, I wisely sat out the initial U.S. Ticketmaster hysteria. When a local radio station advertised a trip to see Taylor in Paris … my wheels started spinning. I reached out to an old friend in Paris and asked if I might crash for a few nights in May. When the answer was “oui-oui,” I bought a ticket and booked a flight.

With my daughter still uninterested, I decided to make this my personal pilgrimage. Frankly, I didn’t want to talk anyone into joining me. I was excited to fly solo.

But here’s the thing — the word “solo” doesn’t fly at a Swiftie event. The sense of unity and girl-friendship is so profound, you can’t possibly feel alone. For instance, as I checked into my hotel, three girls who saw the concert the night before heard I was going that night. They opened their suitcases right in the lobby and gifted me face glitter, jewelry stickers, friendship bracelets, snacks and, most importantly, their Uber driver Jacques’ cell number.

The unabashed kindness continued once Jacques dropped me at the concert, with the now-legendary ritual of bracelet swapping. (I brought home several!) The crowd was roughly 88 percent female, from new moms with babies in carriers to a 75-year-old woman dancing in the aisle. No pushing or shoving, even leaving the stadium. It was a veritable lovefest.

And then, during the song “All Too Well” I experienced a full mental breakdown. The song struck a chord with my daughter after a particularly ugly case of teenage heartbreak a few years back. Based on Taylor’s own break up with Jake Gyllenhaal, it contains one of the most brilliant lyric lines ever written, “And you call me up again, just to break me like a promise — so casually cruel in the name of being honest."

As the crowd sang along with their fearless leader, (Swifties know EVERY word to EVERY one of her 243+ songs) I started weeping. Ok, bawling. A tsunami of tears. How could I have come all this way without my daughter? She loves this song! I wiped my glittery cheeks with my sleeve and pulled out my phone, called her and cried when she answered.

“I should have brought you to Paris. I should have made you come with me. I feel so bad that you aren’t here!” I hyperventilated into the phone. The crowd continued chanting, “It was rare, I was there, I remember it, all too well...” “Mom? Are you at the concert now?” she yelled. “Yes, and I wish you were here! I miss you so much!” I cried, once again.

“It’s okay Mom. It’s not really my thing …” She hollered back. “It’s so … loud.” Oh, right. She hates crowds and loud things... “Ok,” I yelled into the phone. “I’ll call tomorrow. Love you!”

As I clicked the phone off, I felt a tap on my arm. The woman on my left handed me a tissue. This simple act reflects the gestalt of the Taylor Swift Phenomenon. Empathy. Kindness. Recognition.

It’s why Taylor’s popularity is not tied to her age, gender or even generation.

No matter your birth date, you remember your first love, first loss, first everything when it comes to love. For matters of the heart, the years clocked on Earth are irrelevant. Swift’s songs are about hurting and healing, regret and redemption. And if Taylor can be awkward, wounded and carry on with hope, then maybe, so can we.

Flying solo to Paris to see Taylor Swift was one of the most joy-inducing, life-affirming, heart-expanding experiences I’ve ever had. And my age had nothing — and everything — to do with it.

Who else out there is a Swiftie? Have you seen Taylor in concert? Let us know in the comments below.

 

Carolyn Bergen is a creative director/writer of advertising, social media and creative content. She lives in the Chicago area where she spends her time walking along the lakefront, baking for those whose blood sugar needs reinforcements, and obsessing over why her children continue to leave half-eaten plates of food under their beds to ferment for the length of a congressional term.